Down here in the South we have what local folks like to call Palmetto Bugs. They say it so sweetly with their charming accents... You think, Oh, a Palmetto Bug! How lovely! Can I get one for my home? Is it pretty like a palmetto tree? I hope I see one soon! Oh but you have been fooled...(I know, the accent gets me too).
So, what are they in reality, Palmetto bugs? They are not charming or lovely. They are not pretty. A Palmetto Bug is a REALLY big roach. And I mean really big. They are impervious to flip flops and magazines and don't bother trying to kill them with a regular fly swatter. They will just snatch the fly swatter and hit you back (and those things really sting!) You need to go put on your lace-up stompin' shoes and come back with a 2x4 (but watch out when you come back because by this time he has probably pulled his knife and is waiting behind the door). Now, I have an agreement with the roach-err, palmetto bugs. As long as they stay outside, we're cool. But once they come inside, all bets are off. (And for all you bug-lovin' hippies, all bets are off means I'm fair game as well so it's survival of the fittest.) These palmetto bugs are true masters of surprise sometimes appearing out of thin air to scuttle boldly across your bare foot, killing you with pure, unadulterated shock. They are merciless.
But honestly, other than the foot thing, they don't really bother me (I'm a spider girl all the way). They do however bother Alana. And my friend, Heather. And my friend, Jennifer. In fact, they really bother a lot of people (which is why I'm guessing they came up with the pretty name in the first place...) So, to make the southern roaches seem a little more lovable, I have designed a new line of stuff featuring Pal, the Palmetto bug. Get it?
What? Look at that charming guy. All he needs is a beer and a bag of chips and he could be your best friend. And I hope you are all coming to the Rock & Shop this Saturday (this Saturday?!) to see your new best friend, Pal in um, person. He'll be up at the bar waiting for y'all (he's a bit of a lush).